BNS reports that Greg and his family had been wandering the aisles at the Christmas tree farm and had gathered around a tree. It was perfect. They call their trees "he." So, he was perfect - not those itchy, toxic needles, a nice straight top. Full on the bottom, well shaped. No bad side. "What do you think?" Jen asked. There was a lot of silence.
They walked back to the other one, the one that they had just walked from. It had, as one of the kids described, a "Dr. Seuss" top, as if when you weren't watching, a town of needle-high Whos might start singing and dancing on it. Parts of it - er, him - looked like he had just woken up and didn't have time to quick run some water through his branches, which were growing kinda sideways. And there is definitely a bad side. Of him. It's the side they spun towards the corner when they put him up.
He made them laugh when they found him, and he makes them laugh when they look at him today. He fits right in with everyone else in the house.
BNS also reports that Christa came home with a beautiful tree that Phil helped put in the stand. It was the right kind of tree, with the needles that don't hurt when you touch them. Unfortunately, the needles also all fell off. All of them. BNS thinks that when you return those trees to the farm, they must be lit on fire and left on the front lawn.
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RE; Christa's Tree - Ok, so you had to name names in the story. I admit it - I forgot to "recut" the tree before I put it in the stand.
ReplyDeleteLet's bring it back and light it on fire anyway. We'll bring some sparklers - still have some in the car from 2003. Perhaps we can light the tree, the sparklers, stand on their porch and do some caroling, too. A new tradition is born.
I think I didn't cut the base once before too. What does a guy have to do to get fired from a job around here? Phil
Phil,
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your forthrightness but it won't put the needles back on the tree.
And given your admission of a previous error, looks like you got your tradition already begun - killing Omi's Christmas tree. Perhaps each year we should pursue a different method.
People don't get fired around here. They just disappear. They have unfortunate accidents.
Did any BNS staffers actually see my client "helping put the tree in the stand" as your copyrighted story alleges?
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