Infection

Zoe has an infection. This is something Jen suspected for the last 12 hours. She has continued to ask about the possibility of an infection. Jen has asked nurses about the congestion baby has experienced and the temperature. The professionals kept saying it wasn't an infection. Now the experts confirm yes, it's an infection.

Physicians Assistant Elliot - who has kept with Zoe this whole time - walked in and listened to her and sprinted out to get help.

Zoe has been rushed to ICU and reintubated. They have put a central line in her leg to get medicines to her body since her heart isn't getting blood everywhere.

My internet was down this morning or I would have told you that we found out at 4 am that Zoe had a partially collapsed right lung that was reinflating with each breath. Could that have been why Zoe wasn't eating? Why weren't we told? Answers we probably won't get.

We're back in the surgical waiting room. Back to square 1. And this time, things are very bad.

Zoe's heart isn't getting blood to her whole body. It could be the infection that is preventing the heart from working. Or it could be a problem with the heart. If it's the heart they might have to go back in.

temperature rising

...and the medical team is a little worried that Zoe might be getting an infection again. This is a particular concern for Zoe since Trisomy babies have a really hard time with infections.

This has moved up past eating as Jen's chief concern.

Neighbor News

Zoe's neighbor - the boy who was alone all night - was blessed by some answered prayers. His mom came for a few hours. Some others came for an hour or two. And a kind nurse kept calling him "my baby."

"It's ok, my baby," the nurse would say as she rocked him. She spent a lot of time with him today, rocking him.

Zoe Update

Zoe is pudgy in the face. Which makes her, with the big eyes, even more cherubic. When I checked in on her she was having trouble calming down. Jen's worried she's just too anxious. That's not manifested in crying, but in uneasiness and not eating.

If they can't get Zoe to eat, they're going to insert an eating tube. I'm not a big fan, if you check posts from months ago. I don't like that they have to hold a kid down to insert it. I don't like that I know she was eating just four days ago but now that she's not she gets food poured down her nose.

On the other hand, we don't have a lot of options. Either she calms down and eats, or she has to have food introduced to her somehow. It's tough.

I sang her songs and held her close and pulled her airflo tube off her nose. She was fine without it and they removed it. Now, eat Zoe. Now.

Pray for Calista

We found out the yesterday that our friend Calista has leukemia.

When we attended church with her, Calista was the loudest singer. She was in the front row so she could dance a little while singing. And clap.

During the sermon, she'd be the one to hoot and holler and yell "Amen!"

I grew up in a different sort of church, but when you attend Calista's church, I think you'd understand better how being led by the Spirit - sometimes - isn't just emotion. Isn't just show.

Calista has Downs Syndrome.

Oh please pray for our friend through this trying, awful time. So much happening she might not understand.

But know this: Calista is her Shepherd's lamb. And her faith - expressed so wonderfully, passionately, eloquently each Sunday - was a source of inspiration to us and is our peace as she undergoes her trial Calista is loved. Calista is held.

Our Roommate

Our roommate is a little boy with a shock of dark hair. He has some kind of issue where he doesn't cry - only squeaks a little. Mom and Dad are somewhere...don't know. Someone visited him for an hour last night.

But he's alone behind his curtain and you can hear him squeaking a little. He's breathing loud. He's crying. Alone.

Eating

Jen called in the early morning hours asking for Zoe's bottles. Zoe wasn't eating anything. She also wasn't peeing or pooping.

Jen wondered if she had her bottle from home, maybe there'd be some comfort there. Given that she has never slept alone, there's just so many things different from "normal."

I drove over to the hospital and brought the bottles. She just swatted at them. Jen did some magic to get her to poop, and with the help of both parents (Dad talking in her ear and smooching her forehead) she decided to take a little formula.

If she doesn't take formula through a bottle, they'll insert a feeding tube. For both Jen and me, it's a tough one to take. We know how hard baby squirms and wails when they insert it. We know it's not the same.

Then again, she's been through so much that we'll let them do whatever. It's just that baby might not understand what's going on. Maybe she saw too many things shoved down her throat in the last few days.

I'm typing, baby's swallowing little bits at a time. But more than the last 12 hours.