Zoe's Fall Visit To Children's Ends

Apologies. Zoe and Jen made it home around 7 pm on Wednesday night. The delay was centered on a number of issues, not the least of which was the discovery that for the previous week, Zoe had been receiving the wrong amount of blood pressure medication twice a day.

Which explained the high blood pressure they measured while she was in the hospital.

Insert rant here. We continue to be grateful to Children's Hospital - Wisconsin. We are also amazed that they are the third best hospital in the world. What does the seventh best do?

Now that she's home, Zoe receives oxygen while she sleeps, which helps to reduce stress on her heart. Outside of that, the whole "why does she stay up for the majority of the night" issue has gone unresolved. On the other hand, if you've wondered what it might be like to sleep next to Darth Vader, I might be able to answer.

Right back into the maelstrom - I handled a long shoot Thursday followed by a shoot Friday, and Jen out to handle auditions for a few casts at a production in Hartford - which hopefully better explains the digital silence.

...and just home and some level of normal. Maybe some wine.

Special thanks to the Popes and Deirdre, who picked up the picking up while we were down a driver; Chris Pope for the taco stuff, perfect on audition night; Ben and Rebekah, who gave us pizzas and stuff that we're still plowing through; Avicom and everyone for putting up with crazy, Pastor Wendorf, a special reminder that sometimes, churches do care.

Zoe's Out

No breathing tube, she saw her mom in the hallway and tried to yell for her mom. She has cotton balls in her ears (team 2 put tiny little tubes in her eardrums). Relocated to the fifth floor. Jen's going to be with her.

First Team Through

First team has found that it is neither Zoe's tonsils or adenoids, but a sagging part of her breathing area. We'll keep you all posted as to what that means.

September 15: Convergence

Tomorrow three teams of doctors will tend to Zoe and hopefully give us some answers as to what's taxing her breathing while she sleeps.

At the same time, Zoe's big sister will get braces put on...and then in the coming weeks, seven teeth extracted.

Later tomorrow, three of Zoe's older brothers and sisters will try out for a play - two of the three for the first time.

It's funny because in years past, the third of these three statements would have led to quite a stressful night before.

Then again, the three who are auditioning did bring you work like "The Life of a Carrot." I think they'll be fine.

The song that's carrying me through is "This Is Our God" performed by Chris Tomlin and David Crowder*. (Alas, all I can find on YouTube is the non-Crowder version). Peace to our madness.



A refuge for the poor, a shelter from the storm
This is our God
He will wipe away your tears and return your
wasted years
This is our God
Oh... this is our God
A father to the orphan, a healer to the broken
This is our God
And he brings peace to our madness and comfort
in our sadness
This is our God
Oh... this is our God
this is the one we have waited for
Oh... this is our God
A fountain for the thirsty, a lover for the lonely
This is our God
He brings glory to the humble and crowns for the
faithful
This is our God

My Next Breath

Morning breaks before this eleventh floor. It looks like no one is awake, that the city below is lifeless. That it could be me here in room 1105 and everyone else left.

Zoe's sats have been good. Better - while sleeping - when she's got some o2 flowing by her. Heard last night that Bat is wrestling hiccups for 30 hours, battling to breathe. Along with Zoe, Jen and me.

Where is the next dollar going to come from? Or the next breath? For me, where will the next idea come from? Where will the next time when I'm in the same room with my wife come from? When will the next time my family be together come from? Does God see what I'm going through? What I'm carrying? That I can't take another step? And what is he going to do about it?

Louis Giglio talks about Isaiah 40. He says the answer is a question. Have you not heard? The Lord is an everlasting God. His understanding...no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary. Power to the weak. Those who stand right in the midst of the craziness, in the midst of the pain, dealing in the middle of the chaos, will receive renewed strength.

Zoe Receives A Threat

A sweet, sweet friend of Zoe's has threatened her:

This Just In...

Scope Tuesday morning. Probably.

Sounds like...whatever presurgical assessments that were not made prior to the last planned procedure will occur on Monday, with an early morning scope Tuesday.

Running Out The Weekend Clock

One thing we've noticed through our time at hospitals is their reluctance to do anything on weekends. We observe that on the weekend, staff tries to keep numbers the same and run out the clock until Monday, when decisions can be made by the weekday staff.

It's the reason Jen and I both were excited about a Wednesday scope, a Thursday scope...and then lost a ton of happiness with a Friday scope. which became a.....

...we don't know. No one knows. It's the weekend! Maybe Monday, but could be mid-week. We've received zero answers.

Why sweat it?

Firstly, they had to stick Zoe repeatedly to put an iv in for surgery. It's still in. Why is it in now? For surgery....whenever that is. Surgery in four days maybe. Or two.

Secondly, there's a bunch of kids who have as-close-as-they-can-get-to-normal lives who are suddenly in code-red living, where you may or may not see a parent or either parent once a day.

Thirdly, there's the whole marriage-in-exile aspect of this mess, which includes gems like me instant messaging my wife "What's wrong?"

Fourthly...this costs money right? As far as I can estimate, these super-nice and dedicated professionals are waiting for surgery, like me and zoe and Jen and our family. It's just that I'm paying those super-nice and dedicated professionals to wait.

Yesterday I was listening to the lead singer of Tenth Avenue North talk about the book of James and his commentary on Job. The lesson is: persevere and cling to the Lord, because this story is about His goodness.

10-11Take the old prophets as your mentors. They put up with anything, went through everything, and never once quit, all the time honoring God. What a gift life is to those who stay the course! You've heard, of course, of Job's staying power, and you know how God brought it all together for him at the end. That's because God cares, cares right down to the last detail. (from a paraphrase called "The Message")

Deep breath.

Look, I know I'm not Job. Not by a long shot. There's an anonymous commenter on this blog who writes gems like the one on the right. He/she is always there to remind me that I'm not Job.

But this sucks. Jen was telling me yesterday that for her, everything is a fight. We both include our work, struggles in and out of the house.

I will openly admit my jealousy of almost everyone's Facebook status today. Gotta find some staying power.