I have a huge justice problem. I want justice and I want it now. I want to see people experience the pain I am. Wrestle with supporting their family like I do. I want revenge.
Maybe I just have a waiting problem. I don't want to wait to find out what's on the next page, or what's in store. Not when so much seems to be riding on now. I don't feel like my family or my creditors or my dreams can wait.
Maybe I just have an arrogance problem. I've put myself in the middle of the universe and now that I'm searching, filled with questions and pain, the whole universe is. If I'm impatient, then the universe is impatient.
In this moment I am alive and Zoe's in God's arms. And the wind outside is wafting through the lilacs. A lawnmower grinds and hums. There's not a lot of problems in this moment when I live it with Him, in Him. The moment isn't the least bit clausterphobic.