Lining Up

I talked to the doctor currently listed as Zoe's caregiver, named Dr. Humphrey at Children's Hospital - Wisconsin Palliative care.

I told him what you all know - that the symptoms all seem to be related to Zoe's heart, and that we want to fight for Zoe's life as hard as she is. At this point, unless the odds are zero, we are strongly considering letting her undergo whatever surgery in hopes that correcting her heart condition will also extend her life.

Dr. Humphrey was supportive of our thoughts, but is also cautious about the risks involved. He said Children's does not have an overriding anti-Trisomy 18 policy, and that we should honor our July 3rd meeting with the cardiologist. He even offered to sit in the meeting with us.

He implied that one of the larger concerns with surgery will be anesthetizing Zoe, and that the risks are great. There are no certainties, no absolute percentages on the risk. This is a grey area. He said that if we have decided that we'd like to spend more time with her, our thoughts are valid.

I told him I wonder if Zoe wants more time with us. And that if it's grey, then grey is for the fighter. And Zoe is a fighter. I'm trying to be her voice because she has none.

Maybe she wants another kiss on her forehead from Ethan. Or to hear her mom singing her another lullaby. Maybe this house of love isn't too bad of a place to live.