Friday, July 31, 2009
Bat was admitted to St. Vincent's hospital yesterday after experiencing over a week of weakness and nausea. Andreas and Jill had just been up to see Dad and had reported his struggles.
I spoke via email to Bat and Christa's friends, Fran and Dr. Gary Miller, and asked them frankly what next steps were. Unfortunately, I have some experience with a potentially terminal person in the very-much-alive-all-through-the-night Zoe.
I told Fran there are two paths.
1. tell me that there is nothing more to do.
2. Then tell us what the symptoms of those treatments are so we can react when we observe symptoms that do not agree
-then recommend a nutritionist for dad
-give mom explicit instructions on what to do over time.
Fran said that they were going with number 2. "Your dad isn't ready to throw in the towel by any means, nor is your mother."
I know all of us kids are trying to wrap our brains and our faith around this uncomfortably painful and real situation. I see my sisters' laments on Facebook. I've written posts here that I haven't posted, mostly because they sound like eulogies and selfish pain. This isn't the time for either.
What will happen today, as will happen tomorrow, is God will hold my Dad to His breast and breathe life into him. And whether he's here among us, in pain, or in Heaven, not in pain, is up to God. And if I trust God, God will decide what is best and right for Bat. And Zoe. And me.
So, today, we fight. Bat, Zoe, and me.