these carbon shells

i got an email from the ironman. his knee is hurting him so he's going to sit the next race out. it won't deter his quest, but it's time to pray for him and his mission and his call. and his knee and his wife and six kids in their little house.

pray for zoe. we met with her cardiologist today and her blood oxygenization is now between 70-80%. she goes in for an ultrasound next week so they can get a better view of her heart, and then big decisions need to be made about what to do next.

i don't know about you, but i hate begging. i hate it. i hate feeling abject, i hate needing you all and needing help. recently i thought God had blessed me in a special way that would have made me feel a little less dependent, but that's been taken away. back to being a poor and begging man. i think in another stage of my life, i'd be angry. but i'm too tired to be angry. i turn myself back to the scars that mark His skin. and lose myself.

the economy of mercy
by switchfoot

There's just two ways to lose yourself in this life
And neither way is safe
In my dreams I see visions of the future
But today we have today
And where will I find You?

In the economy of mercy
I am a poor and begging man
In the currency of Grace
Is where my song begins
In the colors of Your goodness
In the scars that mark your skin
In the currency of Grace
Is where my song begins

These carbon shells
These fragile dusty frames
House canvases of souls
We are bruised and broken masterpieces
But we did not paint ourselves
And where will I find You?

Where was I when the world was made?
Where was I?

I'm lost without You here
Yes, I'm lost without You near me
I'm lost without You here
You knew my name when the world was made