Are you hard to help?
I know I am. I know the family is. Part of it is beyond our control. There are so many moving parts in our family that if you said - I will give them X, it's difficult to say that X would serve everyone in our family. Or anyone.
"Do you need help with rides?," someone asked us. Yes. But it changes day to day. It's the kind of answer that might fascinate someone, but we're figuring out rides today for today. And the earliest we'd have known about today is probably last night.
What I'm saying is between Zoe and kids at one school for 1/2 day, kids at another for a full day, practices, jobs, my job, kids at a third school, groceries...sure, we need help with rides. But it doesn't flow into a normal calendar.
Same with food. Jenny likes mushrooms. The rest of us don't. Selah's diabetic, so we need to know the carbs in what she's eating to give her an appropriate shot of insulin. The boys...well, they're the boys. They're not quite catching onto pasta and sauce. They're trying. 9 people is a lot of people for X.
On the other hand, we're hard to help because we don't know why we'd need help. Our pride gets in the way, as does our stubbornness about retracting ourselves out of our own pit. One author I read says, "It's hard to hug stiff people."
It's an tall order. Facing a trial requires a "stiff upper lip" and "backbone." Our natural instinct is to either fight or flee. Being helped is neither. Receiving help requires humility.
This is the Batiansila's longform apology and thank you to everyone. We are not used to getting help but we are grateful for what you've been doing. Your prayers, your dishes. The gas cards. The Y membership! The visits. The earnest wishes of hope and thoughtfulness. You have been the face of Christ to us. Our prayer is to receive his hug with less stiffness.
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I don't live close enough to you to ask if I could be of help. But I can always be a prayer warrior for you and your family and ask the Lord to meet each need of yours as it comes up. I am especially going to ask Him to you to receive His hugs with less stiffness too. And even if it is hard to receive the help at times, just know that the givers need to be giving to you as the Lord puts it on their hearts. Praying for Zoe and for all of you too. May you feel His arms all around you today.
ReplyDeleteLaurie in Ca.
I am so hard to help! Probably because I am used to being so independent and strong. Rumor is I'm related to Winston Churchill. "Never give up...NEVER surrender!" I am a fighter and appear to be tough. I'm a leader. That's how I'm wired and what makes me unique. (But there is the biggest baby inside...my husband can tell you that.)
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband broke his foot and couldn't work for several months, we were helped just as you are. My good friend opened a trust for us at the bank because he wasn't receiving much disability (long story..) Anyhow, we had the meals, the gas cards, the food cards, the Christmas gifts, the money, etc....People would "drop by" and I was so embarrassed at how my home looked. But it really was stuff that we needed....we were just too proud to admit it at times. Finally, we had to learn to be helped and that was so hard...
Part of me wanted to be able to handle it alone as a family. To be honest, people would show up at times and I would be like, "LEAVE US ALONE!" But you know what? It DID humble us and we began to see how beautiful the people around us really were. The most shocking thing was the people who gave lavishly to us who were just acquaintances.
So yes, my strong Batiansila friends......let us lavish you some more! Hee hee.....wah ha ha ha.....
First of all, you are very welcome for the glory of Jesus Christ.
ReplyDeleteSecond of all, we know we don't know each other in an intimately relational way, but we will help as we can nonetheless. We mimic the same crazy schedule you have, minus a school and some kids, but somehow it all works out. Last minute ride? Call. We can step in. Kids home alone because you and Jen have to be gone? We are pretty darn good at spontaneous. Actually, spontaneous supper is our specialty! (Say that fast ten times!) Babysit for Zoe to give the family some time to see a movie, walk in the park, run around the block? You bet! We are available to you as much as possible. Try us!
(We can even muster up some good old-fashioned fellowship if you don't mind old people at your house.)
Ginny M.
Good evening Greg and Jen,
ReplyDeleteGreg, I know you from high school. We shared a friendship with Mark Natzke at that time. Mark and I have bumped into each other a few times over the years and I recently received his birthday evite. Through this invitation I was reintroduced to you and now your lovely family.
Thank you for sharing your faith with us through the moments of Zoe's life.
I just wanted to say many of the songs you have referenced in your blog are not familiar to me but someday I will look them up and take a listen.
Until then, I would like to share a few that held me up during some of my own life struggles. I think you will find all of them in the Lutheran Hymnal.
Children of the Heavenly Father. Specifically let me sing to you and Jen (I'm not a good singer so thankfully I am typing) "Neither life nor death shall ever from the Lord His children sever; Unto them His grace He showeth, and their sorrows all He knoweth."
Away in the Manager..."Be near me Lord Jesus I ask Thee to stay Close by me forever and love me I pray. Bless all the dear children in Thy tender care, and take us to heaven to live with Thee there.
and finally...
I am so sure that Zoe has heard the voice of Jesus crying..."Let none hear you idly saying "there is nothing I can do," While the souls of men are dying and the Master calls for you. Take the task He gives you gladly, Let His work your pleasure be; Answer quickly when He calleth, "Here am I, send me, send me."
God's blessing to you Greg and Jen and Zoe and your brothers and sisters. You are each a beautiful witness for our Savior.
I will pray for you and add you to the prayer chain at Our Savior Lutheran Church in Whitefish Bay, WI.
Kris Barger
Bayside, WI
PS - When you spot a hawk flying in the sky know that God sends hope on their wings to get you through the day.
Now that you're looking you will be amazed.
Dear family of the Most High God, who is our Father in Heaven through our Lord, Jesus Christ;
ReplyDeleteThe Father is our Shepherd and our Keeper. No one can snatch us out of his hand. No matter what, our futures are decided in Christ, and our Shepherd and Keeper is leading us ever closer to His eternal presence.
He gives us day by day what we need for that day. He holds on to us day by day. As the Psalmist says (Ps.121) "He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber.....the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."
The Shepherd bless you Zoe and make his face shine upon you and each of your family members!
Pastor Haberkost